Tuesday, June 24, 2008

last night's dream

so, i dont think i can put this in any chronolgical order but here it is.

im in this dream and i realize that im pregnant. im out partying or something when i "get the news" and i feel bad but i keep doin' what im doin'. im on a peer or something close to water, looking out contemplating things when someone comes up to me and starts critsizing me for drinking when i know that im preggers. i try to defend myself by telling the person that i just found out earlier that night but he wouldn't lay off.
so, now, im away from all this in a market or something. i have (for some reason) scored some herroine. it looks like crystal bath salt things and im kinda reluctant to snort them. im with a friend and let them have the first try. said friend gets really fucked up. then enters my ex-fake dad, kevin. he's looking around at me and my friend suspiciously (oh, i should mention that by this time i am really pregnant, like big) to see what we're up to. friend is kinda wobbling around wasted and i look down at the "stuff" and see that its blown away or something. im actually pretty relieved and i think it pretty much ends after that.
weird huh?

well, thats that.

its been awhile sense we discussed our plans for the future

i know that we are compfortable with each other and we have this little "life" and everything and...well it just seems that everything is SO great but i gotta tell you. im bord. i love you, i always have, i always will. but i just cant take this for much more. im young, i have a life to live. i need to get out and explore. im not ready for this, ok?!
and you! you need to live a little too! you've been stuck here in this domestic thing we've made for our selves too. lets do something with out selves, without eachother.
so i guess what im saying is that we need our space. or rather i know that i need my space.
so...im leaving. right now.
im sorry. dont worry though, im sure everything will be alright.
ok, well i gotta go now.
dont do anything crazy, ok? and remember, ill always love you.

Monday, June 23, 2008

i think we need to talk

alot's happened since the last time we talked. uh, i dont really know how to tell you this, but...well, um. ok FINE! i met someone else. i might be back soon, but for now i just think its better if we dont see each other.
oh, come on now. dont cry. no, no. im crying too, you see. its just inside. i cried so much earlier, um, at home.
so, uh, i kinda gotta go right now. so...well, i hope everythings going to be ok with you.
if you need to talk to someone, you can totally call....oh, wait, nevermind.
well, ill see you around then.

Monday, June 16, 2008

fun for four finutes

back in business (thats what people say, right?)

doing whatever you want is essential to a happy life. i think.

drawing pictures for your friends, laughing, drinking, poking fun, doing handstands, chewing bubble gum, blowing bubbles, staring at the sky, passing a doobie, counting your toes with little kids, doing cartwheels, riding your bike, watching movies, kittens, puppies, bright colors, gold, plans, no plans, boys/girls, specials boys/girls, sandwiches, fruit, sunshine, rivers, late night naked swimming, naps, B-complex, Omega 3's, music, sweat, sunglasses, warm rain, showers?,...

this is the time for enjoyment.

i love you

Sunday, June 8, 2008

from saint louis to indiana to chicago to home...eventually.

so, jesus h christ, i am so sick and tired of being in a car with anyone for more than 15 to 20 minutes. the wedding was great, the food was amazing, the friends were wonderfull. im stil pretty much ready to go home and get back on my bike though. see you soon guys.
i still love you.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

isnt it funny when you get to answer the same questions all the time?!

to add to a previous post explaining some of my most recent injuries, id like to "talk" about sunday. our friend justin ripped a giant hole in his lip (probably resulting in stitches) and i hit my head really really hard. i guess i have a hidden soft spot on my head somewhere and i only find out about it like, lets say, every 6-8 months. i dont really know what happened, maybe a door maybe i just fell on my head, but it hurts (along with many other parts of my body).
so thats that. lets see....
oh, so on monday a schizophrenic man decided to come up to work to sing keriokee. he chose "all you need is love" by the beatles, presumably. this man just belted random words in a relatively recognizable tune. at first, i was horrified. then pretty damn entertained. only after his second attempt at the mike was he "politely" asked to leave the place and return himself to crazy town.
then comes rita. rita looks like a balding retarded mildly female version of meat loaf. and that bitch is awesome. a friend and coworker of mine mentioned that he had been seeing rita at random keriokee joints for, going on, 5 years. fucking rad.
i sang "love is a battle field" to her, it was great.
um, pete s. left. i was to lazy and in bed to say goodbye. but i figured that's what he would want from me (or at least expect, anyways).
well, not much else going on in this head right now.
guess ill go to bed.

no bombs tonight, are you proud of me?

oh wait, thats i lie, i had one before dinner.

piece out. iloveyou.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


summer project 2008.
check it!


i havnt forgottten you

here's a thing thats prettty entertaining. last night at work, some dood pushed me (in a jovial way that wasnt fun or funny) and i ran into some piece of metal with the most sensitive part of my knee i can think of. i mean, after like and hour, i couldnt bend it with out horrible pain. so that sucked. then later, after that awesome lightning/rain storm, i guess i had gotten my shoes wet from being outside and when i tried to walk down the stairs to the basement (with one strait knee, mind you) i slipped and slid down all the steps on my butt. the slipping wasnt really too bad it was mostly the falling. all my wait on one butt cheek all at once, not to compfertable.
so, anyway, waking up this morning has proved to be a rather sore event. oh, and the heat is pretty much preventing me from any benificial sleep anyways so.....DAMN, whats up summer.
hot and hurt. thats usually how i do this time of year.

so, i ll be around. but ill probably be drunk, sweaty, and limping.

my thoughts on most people: i dont care enough to even get very mad of truely dislike anymore. is this good. is this bad. guess what, i dont care.