why cant i stop masturbating?

i wake up in the morning and all i want to do is shit my pants, hauk loogies for an hour or so, and fuck.  

as i am a resorsfull person, i get all these done myself (usually). 

i get in the shower, turn that shit on hot hot hot, and start my day. 

caugh. caugh. hack. spit. push. feel the hot liquid shit run down my legs and mix with the phlem at the bottom of the bathtub. caugh some more. oh, this time blood with the green/yellow/brown chunks that come from inside me.

if im really lucky ive started my period and with my next full body, abdomin wrenching hack fest, i can just push it all out. 

chunks from my lungs, piss, crotch blood, and runny poo. this is my shower experience.

oh, then i brush my teeth and shave my legs so guys will think im hot.