regee inspired christmas music

gives me a feeling inbetween sickness and anger. 

the end.

miss (me) babe

things and stuff

my life involves talking to/listening to some of the most borring people around. but...sometimes i am suprised by how NOT boring some people are. now, i realize that being not boring perhaps implies being interesting but this is not always the case. sometimes not being completly plabeian (yes, i use dictionary.com) just means your crazy though. its odd really, that a person can have nothing at all interesting to say but at the same time be so...(lets check the thesauras again) bonkers. to me, i always associated insanity with a rather interesting personality. i am wrong.

people people people

words words word

things things 

stuffs

r

pancake breakfast

wake up in the morning. peel off the layers from yesterday. nose running yet stuffed up. feels the need to share with "others". monotony accepted. should i continue to question. easier to let it be. dont expect miracles. always be impressed. sniffle. not sad, just cold. cold cold cold world. now. before and later do not exist. chewy fruity sweet but makes my teeth hurt. realizing the inabilities i possess. this characteristic enables a solitary existence. contemplate. accept. disappointment out the window. who left the window open. its cold outside. here take this money. do you need money. gods speed young ones. be careful running into the night. its dark. there are no lights. your all dressed in black. gods speed.

boring boring boring boring

nothing to offer

nothing to say

sorry

rose

the road to valhalla is a bloody battle

there are certain things that really make existing worth while. things like really good food, kittens, sunshine, and.....EPIC POWER VIKING METAL. 

it seems that when i start my days off with these magical sounds, everything is good.

words like nie, battle, valhalla, oden, loki, mead, blood sward, and so on really get me in good spirits. 

Gods Of War (Immortal Version)

Father obented me

I ask thee

raise thy hand

we! the sons of Odin!

await thy command

Born!

under the sign

of the hammer we stand

and here we all may die!

our blood on the ground

the battle horns sound!

Let thy Valkyries fly!!

Down from the sky into the fight

Clutched full of rage!!

full of thunder

and glory

Swords in the wind

crossing the sky

Lords of doom bring an end to their story

Today is the day we Die in the fight

None shall remain..

till last one for night

now Valhalla's calling us immortal

we are gods immortal!

We are Gods Of War!!

Odin

hear the fallen wait

To join thee

by thy side

let Valhalla's gates

Open wide.....

Born! under the sign of the hammer

They lived

and here they fought and died!

There blood on the ground..

The battle horns sound!!

Let thy Valkyries fly!!!

Down from the sky into the fight

Clutched full of rage!!

full of thunder

and glory

Swords in the wind

crossing the sky

Lords of doom bring an end to their story

Today is the day we Die in the fight

None shall remain..

till last one for night

now Valhalla's calling us immortal

we are gods immortal!

We are Gods Of War!!

day after

im tired. im hung over. im done. i cry. i laugh. i feel like ill through up. what an ass i am. today is a good day. though. maybe ill see a movie. maybe i wont.

i had a dream the other day that i was nursing a kitten. 

i think i might be weird.

i found out that without social interaction, boose, and i dont know, some other stuff too probably, i fail to really BE.

or maybe i just am more without.

vices.

-r

dont/do smoke weed and do anything

so i had to walk (yes, walk) like 1/2 a mile or something today. this may not seem like a big deal but i ride bikes so, i hate walking. it takes to long and its borring. i thought, this morning before i went for my walk, that if i smoked weed it would make it more interesting. so i rolled one up and got to stepping. i was taking a bike to the shop, by the way. as i was walking, though, i started to realize things happening in certain sequences. a woman walked by with a dog, as i was about to say hi (or some other way of acknowledging her presence) her cell phone rings. then, i take a few more steps and there is a slight breeze in the trees above, a creepy breeze, a horror movie breeze. more steps, a dog barks. a little further and im looking up at a scary looking house with one window open and ivy growing all over it, dry leaves flying all around it and everything. a car drives by really fast and i drop my bike. this is when i decided smoking weed after watching scary movies for a week or so, and taking a walk wasnt a great idea. a couple of blocks later i had forgotten all about it though. 

by the time i was half way there i had come to the conclusion that the joint walk was the best thing ever. the neighborhood i was walking through was all of a sudden gorgeous. the trees were a number of amazing colors, there were no people running around yelling at eachother, there were even recycling bins on the sidewalks. beautiful.

drugs, huh?

or maybe its just fall and im loosing it.

anythings possible, i guess.

school days

look. i do the inernet too. this means im smart. right. (statement not question)

just another dumb girl

well, peter pointed out to me that i am a 25 year hypochondriac cat lady wino. its the truth. i went to the emergency room this morning because i wan convinced that i was having kidney failure or had broken my back or something. turnes out, there was nothing wrong with me.  i was in alot of pain though and couldnt stop crying so they did give me an iv with some pain killer i cant remember the name of now. and the cat lady part, i just had 6 kittens one week ago today and i love every last one of them to death. i literally start crying when i think of them. oh and the wino thing, well, i do like a bottle of wine every now and then. so, this is me now. what will i have when i actually am old. god, life is dissapointing no matter what, huh?

approximation of buttheads

why such a butthead?

why a death wish?

why so drunk?

why all the time?

in real life i guess i really dont care anyway.

dont bother me.

i hope you feel better.

r. 

this happened to me...again.

i dropped my phone in the toilet. im dumb. i shouldnt have things. oh well.

well its today

i might be shallow

i might be hollow

i might be judgemental

i might not care

butt i love kittens

this day is poorly written

TODAY I WOKE PROMPTLY AT 7AM TO THE UNWELCOMING STATIC CHATTER OF OUR LOCAL PUBLIC RADIO STATION. IT SEEMS THAT SOMETIME IN THE NIGHT SOMEONE/THING HAD FIDDLES WITH THE TUNING OF MY CLOCK RADIO AND PLACED THE DIAL SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LOUD OBNOCTIOS HISSING AND HORRIBLY OFFENSICE SCRATCHING STATIONS. (I HAVE MY SUSPISSIONS IT IS MY NEW FURRY FRIEND SHELDON. AN ADORABLE LITTLE MOUSE I DONT HAVE THE HART TO KILL, YET.) AFTER LISTENEING TO THE AUDIBLY TORTUTOUS RACKET FOR EXACTLY 13 MINUTES I DECIDED TO RISE.  AT SOME POINT IN THE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING I WAS AWAKENED BY AN INTERNAL HEAT WAVE. RELIZING I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP LISTENING TO MUSIC WITH ALL THE LIGHTS ON AND STILL WEARING SOCKS SHOES PANTS AND SHIRT I SUPPOSE I MANNAGED TO PULL OFF WHAT I COULD. THIS, WHEN I WOKE TO THE ALARM LATER, RESULTED IN ME WEARING ONE LEFT SOCK ONE PANT LEG (RIGHT) AND TEE SHIRT SECURELY AROUND RIGHT WRIST.  I  IMAGINE WHAT PROMPTED MY RUDE AWAKINING MAY HAVE BEEN TWO GUN SHOTS THAT SOUNDED LIKETHEY HAD BEEN FIRED DIRECTLY OUTSIDE MY BASEMENT/BEDROOM WINDOW. (THIS CONFIRMED TO NOT BE A DREAM BY MY ROOMATE & FRIEND JOE S. ES HE WAS AWAKENED BY IT AS WELL.)  AFTER GETTING DRESSED AND WASHED UPI HEAD FOR THE DOOR AND REALIZE IT IS 8 AM AND I HAVE ABSOLUTLY NO REASON TO BE AWAKE OR GOING ANY WHERE.  THAT RESOLVED, I MOUNTED MY BIKE AND RODE OFF INTO THE BRISK BEAUTIFULL RUESDAY MORNING. I FOUND MYSELF A LITLE LATER ON THE SHORE OF SOME FOREST PARKPOND READING IN THE SHADE AND INTERMITINGLY STARING AT TADPOLES OR MINNOWS OR SOME SORT OF WHATER BOUND SPERM LIKE THING. AFTER ABOUT 75 PAGES I SNAP AWAKE AND RELIZE ID BEEN NAPPING IN THE SUN FOR THE LAST HOUR OR SO. WITH STILL AN HOUR TO SPARE BEFORE DONING MY PENGUIN SUIT AND HANDING OUT REFRESHMENTS TO THE 7-10 PREDICTIBLY SLOW DAYTIME MOVIE GOERS, I DECIDED TO CONTINUE READING. A LITTLE BORED AND NOW SWEATING FORM THE BLAZING OCTOBER SUN (?), I FIGURED IT WAS TIME TO VENTURE TI AN AIRCONDITIONED PLACE WITH A COMPFY CHAIR AND CONTINUE READING WHILE GETTING PAID (AN IMPRESSIVE $8/HR. IT ONLY TOOK ME 3 YEARS, 3 TIMES EITHER GETTING FIRED OR QUITTING, AND ONE REQUEST FOR A RAISE TO GET TO THAT ENTIRELY UNHEARD OF WAGE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOES SO CLOSE TONOTHING THAT I PRACTICLY IS...NOTHING). AND THUS STARTS OCTOBER 9TH, 2007.

AT TIMES I FEEL MY WRITING MAY SOUND ABIT CONTRIVED BUT I ASSURE YOU, THESE ARE INFACT THE WORDS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD AT THIS TIME. I LRB, AM STILL RETARDO 314.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I AM SUSPICIOUS THAT STARING AT WORDS AND LETTERS FOR HOURS A DAY CAN MAKE YOU THINK TOO MUCH.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

WHAT A PLEASENT AND FULLFILLING FEELING TO WAKE IN THE MORNING, STEP OUTSIDE, AND TAKE A DEEP COOL BREATH OF THE NEW CLEAN CRISP FALL AIR. MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF OCTOBER 10TH 2007 WAS VERY PLEASING.THE LATE MORNING WELCOMED ME WITH THE SOUNDS OF A MARCHING BAND PRACTICING THEIR LATESTED CROWD RALLY-ING SONDS. FULLY AQUIPTED WITH AN IMPRESSIVE DRUM SECTION. THESE SOUNDS WELCOMED ME TO WHAT I BELEVE WILL BE A WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL DAY.

title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title

in the begining there were 6. 3 black. 3 gold.

the end.

how does it feel

forget me forgetting me

how does it feel to have a dead hug from someone

once so alive

how does it feel to have the waves of my hurt

feelings slap you in your face

how does it feel to look at me now

what do you see anyway

anything!?

the feeolling is one of...

used to be loving

but you revived it, you

hurt it out of me.

i am incapeable of harboring such a feeling for you

anymore. what is it called?_________________

anothermorning.imdumb

good mornig rose,

i hope your day if full of productivity and joy. look into the sun, its ok. 

love, 

god

be my friend dont be my friend be my friend

boys are dumb.

and then there was grown ups

so ive decided recently that my life as some sort of stupid drunk party socialite is at an end. im done.
by the way, the tv just told me that "Blue Crush" was one of the worlds best sports movies. granted i dont know much about sports movies, but come on tv.
well, its now 10 after 8, so i should probably go to bed.
untill next time the internet.
this was some dumb grown up.