2nd blog in over a month...

ok, so its february its supposed to be borring and depressing but FUCK! this bad. seriously! i mean really.. i cant believe this shit. i feel pretty fucking horrible. how can weather and lack of ample activity do this to a person? really? 

i like to think that im in control of things, like my moods my actions the things i do ect... but, fuck, these days i dont know.

I AM FUCKING SAD. real fucking sad.

and i dont know what to do about it.

i hate my job.

i dont really like my life.

i think i may like someone alot but i dont know if they like me in return... jesus god, im 25 fucking years old. what am i doing?

i cant cry about this nothing shit forever. 

WHAT DO I DO?!

who am i asking?

why am i doing this?

y

i am fucking terrified

look at the poles. look at them. ok, its 2 something in the morning, wednesday morning, and the poles are still going. it looks good it looks bad... i think it looks pretty bad. i mean who cares if he's winning in 7 states. big fucking deal. the future still sucks in the rest of the 43 states, or how ever many fucking pieces of land "we" own n0w. i voted. I VOTED. i voted. borack. i did it. so please please please tell me i made a difference. please.

or not because thats what im kindof expecting.

signing out (with tears of fear)

L. (fucking) Rose Bland

im so scared to see the future

lets just jump.