RETARDO 314

THE LIST!!!

2010-10-04T15:43:00.002-05:00

*******
This is where you will see your name and status. if you would like to add anything to this list, just let me know. woohoo!
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To purchase what you see here or order one of your own MS Paint for $$'s Project Portrait, click here. *******

2010-10-04T14:53:00.000-05:00

To purchase what you see here or order one of your own MS Paint for $$'s Project Portrait, click here.

Newest Edition in Project MS Paint for $$'s

2010-09-28T08:00:00.001-05:00

Justin Rau

and remember, YOU can get your portrait for just $3!!! (and add just $2 extra for shipping ANYWHERE in the WHOLE WORLD!!!)

this is great timing for the holidays! now all your gifts are taken care of for under $5 a person!!!

Projct MS Paint for $$'s

2010-09-27T21:38:00.004-05:00

for only $3 YOU can have your own MS Paint portrait by me! L. Rose Bland, world famous artist and person around town.

that's right YOU --------> can have all this for just one payment of $3 to this button here...

now dont be afraid of the paypal folks. if you see me around and have $3, you can pay me that way too!!
send me a pic or a request and im on my way to making you beautiful!!!

kind of secret movie night

2010-02-06T14:50:00.003-06:00

list of movies. please add your own.

Master of the Flying Guillotine

Pierrot Le fou

Bande a´ Part

The Purple Rose of Cairo

Inferno

lets decide before the secret day.

MY BLOG IS DUMB AND IM UGLY.

2009-03-24T22:27:00.003-05:00

no ones perfect.
except maybe...

and

BEIGE!!!!

so, fuck off.
i love you.

Nuckle Tattoo Fail

2009-02-18T19:08:00.000-06:00

or is it....?

its funny, just get over it

2009-02-18T17:59:00.001-06:00

stupid band sticker makes stupid people look stupid

2009-02-17T15:32:00.001-06:00

hope the guy doesnt get too fucked with. and at the same time, pretty damn funny.
my roomate has one of those stickers on her bike, i opted to put mine on my mini-fridge.

GET DOWN, ERVIS, AND BRACK FACE!?

2009-02-16T13:52:00.003-06:00

thank god we didnt kill them all.

i dunno. but i like.
without the japanese, being american would be so much less cool.

i mean can you picture a bunch of white people doing this and not get angry. at least when theses guys are doing it they look like cartoon characters.

then again....

Ganguro, literally “face-black,” is a fashion trend among Japanese girls, which has evolved from the earlier trend of “Chapatsu,” or hair dyeing. Chapatsu, which literally means “brown hair” was a trend which involved bleaching (or dyeing) the hair. While the style itself showed up in Tokyo in the in the early 90s, the word did not appear in Kojien (the Japanese equivalent of the Cambridge dictionary) until 1998. The style first gained popularity among teenage girls, who were seeking to accentuate their tanned skin (which in itself rebelled against traditional Japanese definitions of beauty), but quickly grew to be accepted in the mainstream.

Having become accepted by the mainstream, Chapatsu girls upped the ante. From Chapatsu, came “Kogals,” (an amalgam of either the Japanese word for “high school”, kōkō, or the Japanese word for “girl,” ko, and the English word “gal”), a subculture of girls and young women in urban Japan, whose look and behavior roughly approximates sun-tanned California Valley girls. Kogals are known for wearing platform boots, miniskirts, copious amounts of makeup, hair coloring (usually blond), artificial suntans, and designer accessories. Many vocal critics have decried the materialism that goes hand-in-hand with the Kogal subculture. Indeed, many Westerners mistake the term Kogal for “prostitute” due to the widespread practice of enjo kōsai, or “compensated dating,” that many times bankrolls such high priced fashion trends.

Ganguro girls are the next step in the spiraling insanity, and don’t confuse them with others. Evidently each step of this fashion evolution has a distinct subculture and each group is extremely sensitive about the distinctions. (Interestingly, some have described the Gothic Lolita fashion movement a reaction to all the Kogal craziness. Sort of like anti-kogals.)

The Ganguro look consists of: expensive bleach blond perms, hair dyed pink, blue, white, or yellow, deep tans, heavy black and white eyeliner, false eyelashes, platform shoes, brightly-colored outfits, and cellphones covered with purikura stickers, tie-dyed sarongs, mini-skirts, flower hairpins, and lots of jewelry. In school, Ganguro is abbreviated to pinned up skirts and “rusu-sokusu” (loose socks).

Extreme trend followers further bleach their hair to a bright platinum blond shade, get even deeper tans, wear white lipstick, brightly colored contacts, plastic or neon-colored clothing, and tiny metallic or glittery adhesives below their eyes. They also surround their eyes with multicolored pastel eyeshadow, to resemble a panda or raccoon. This is a fashion trend known as Yamanba, because, evidently, “Super Ganguro” just didn’t catch on. The term Yamanba comes the mythological Yama-uba, or mountain hag, whom the fashion is thought to resemble. In addition to their visual affectations, they also talk with a slurred speech and a loud, gregarious way of laughing.

what day is it? ive been in a drug sick delirium for the last 2/3 days.

2009-02-10T12:28:00.002-06:00

just joking. so, whats up with you?
oh, really. thats really great.
me, well. ive been enjoying the weather and the cats are pretty cool. oh, my mom came to visit and i showed her off to all my drunk friends. that was nice, i think. i really dont remember too much of that.
what else....?
i dunno. nothing i guess.
oh right, here's that thing that every one's already looked at but i think its so wonderfull that i want it here "forever":

god. i really love kids

ok, ill go outside now.
see ya
rose

hey im back

2009-01-16T18:08:00.002-06:00

this is a message to EVERYONE. draw your weapons, complying just isnt saving your lives anymore. if it ever did to begin with.

moral of this: dont be a human and the police might not hurt you or take advantage of you.

see you in a couple more months.

how im a totally average "woman"

2008-10-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/results.shtml

you'll see.

how i unsuccesfully flirted with an attractive man of my age group tonight. or didnt.

2008-10-10T05:30:00.002-05:00

he was very good looking and witty. i was weird and laughed at the wrong things. i was at work and my co.worker said he was flirting with me. i felt a flush coming on so i walked to the other side of the bar to think of something intelegent/entertaining to say. by the time i'd thought of whatever that was, i turned the corner to find that he'd left.
his name was pizza, he was mexican/cherokee princess, and...i loved him for just that little bit of time.
ill never see him again and for that reason i am totally satisfied.

DICKS OMG DICKS!!!

2008-10-09T19:45:00.000-05:00

GUESS WHO'S SINGLE!!!

2008-10-05T15:59:00.002-05:00

AND LOVES THE NINETIES?

ITS ME!

oh, right, and johny 6-pack too.

2008-10-03T17:03:00.004-05:00

this is the guy she want to help out, right?

i swear, i just dont fucking get this broad.

and just for fun

ROLLINS FOR PREZ!!!

fuck this place.

HOW TO BE A HOUSE WIFE/VICE PRESIDENT

2008-10-03T16:32:00.002-05:00

first you gotta get the look

lets get dressed now

dont forget your "fuck me" shoes

and your theme song for leaving the house

THANK YOU SARA PALIN. YOU'VE BECOME A REAL REMODEL FOR YOUNG LADIES.
just keep rockin' those stilettos ho!

OMG BEARS

2008-09-29T22:59:00.003-05:00

HOLY CRAP OH MY GOD I LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY FUCKING DAY. SHIT. EEEEEWWW!!! GAH!

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS SHIT IS REALLY WEIRD TO ME

the best thing thats happened to me in the last...whenever. its awesome!!!

2008-09-29T22:52:00.001-05:00

FAGS!!!

FRIDAY NIGHT WOOOOOH!!!

2008-09-26T21:54:00.003-05:00

...................?REALLY.HOW.MANY.TIMES.CAN.YOU.SAY."FUNDAMENTALLY"?...................
i was trying to keep count and probably forgot to keep counting around the 60's but im guessing the "FUNDAMENTAL", and all conjugations of this word, was well over
am i right!?

ANYWAY...

THIS

guys lisp pretty much drove me as crazy as

THIS

guys continuous throat clearing

=insert witty intelligent comments and opinions here=

what i got from this debate was that those guys suck. both of them. i dont really agree with or feel comfortable with either of their veiws for the future of america and most importantly (to me) ME.

while i am probably rather ignorant to the actual issues, i do consider myself a good representation of the masses.
most people out there are morons and i am NOT putting my political intelligence before theirs.
so, what im getting at, is that if my buddy Obama didnt completely sell ME, than good luck with the rest of them dood.
if you know me, you know where my vote is going. but, at this point its just the guy i think is cuter.

over and out suckers,
yours truly,
l.rose.bland.

nevermind, im ok with me after all

2008-09-23T15:55:00.002-05:00

whats tuesday got to do with it

2008-09-23T13:37:00.004-05:00

so, yesterday i guess i got some sort of (fun) hair up my butt and decided to have a good day. and it worked. i got to dress up in corpse paint and go to rally's (you gotta eat). i went to a chinese buffet with my friends, that was awesome. i, uh....whatelse did i do? oh, right i got to drink fancy beers with some best friends. i got my bmx bike home. i played with a dog. i watched part of transformers. i ate a party pizza. and i got some awesome sleep.
wow, all in all such a good day.

so today when i woke up i felt like shit. a little depressed and not looking forward to going to work. see, fun must be a very sensitive ballanced thing. a thing where you must even it out through out your days or else you might end up using your weeks quota in one day, a monday. so, i guess ill go walk the dog and then try to ride my bike. oh, right i only have like 2 weeks now before we ride to chicago again. fine, you know, i did it before. but this time its like i made a bet with someone to see how out of shape and fat i could get in the last month or something, and im winning (or loosing) i dunno.
anyway, if you see me eating ANYTHING hit it out of my hand and tell me to go do some push ups or something. chances are ill get quite angry with you (as most food adicts do when they're told not to eat) but do it anyway.

guess ill show you some shit now.

this came from doebrain.blogspot.com
thanks h.l.d.

i hope you can handle this one. its pretty fucking weird and REALLY fucking geh

and for the kids

I LOVE MONDAY!!!

2008-09-22T21:07:00.002-05:00

things i like today:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2691506.html

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-.qtJYXA8eqhltjrW6Xuq.KvKoh4OE6UF

http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/09/craigslist-ad-of-day-hot-tub.html

oh, and also this

and...

ok, see you later doods.
lrb

so, ya its my birthday party!!!

2008-09-19T19:20:00.001-05:00

at: BONERVILLE!!!
when: nowish (9-??)
why: cause im 26
how: like this

gonna rock.

official RETARDO314 post 69

2008-09-16T17:07:00.002-05:00

on that note, i had a sex dream about a friend and i woke up and felt EXTREMLY weird! so here:

also, all the seritonin in my body has been eaten up by hops and barley and fermented potato products. my decision making skills are at an all time low and i'll be a year older in 3 days. hurray! im so done with this.
so... i gotta go

lov ya (or whatever),
roses

im ovulating

2008-09-15T18:57:00.000-05:00

i guess this is just a kind a racisim im not used to

2008-09-14T14:23:00.002-05:00

a room full of podunk cowboys and cowgals laughing at the self deprecating indian. weird.

the rain last night/morning was like a dream

2008-09-14T14:10:00.002-05:00

a scary awesome dream. living on the third floor of a 100yo (or so) building is pretty scary in an amazing wind/rain storm. i gotta say, i thought some of my windows were going to break in and my bed was moving because im pretty sure the whole floor was moving. yikes! and totally awesome!
anyway this is what it makes me think of:

god, this was a long fucking day (of blogging)

2008-09-14T03:52:00.003-05:00

so, when i got tired of hanging out here at blogspot.com, i decided to see what was happenin' on my youtube.com page.

so, here's what a little bordom and a lot of time on one girls hands will produce. have a blast.

and, i supose i should appoligise now.

that girl you see drunk sometimes,
rose

i got to go back to sleep

2008-09-13T13:53:00.003-05:00

so, like almost always when im sleeping im dreaming that im getting the things i need to do done. you know, like chores, errands, obligations, whatever. so i wake up and i feel awesome that i got all this shit done. then i realize that im actually only a productive person when im dreaming. so i either go back to sleep where everything is positive and awesome or make my way to the internet to waste like, i dunno, 3-5 hours till some one calls me and tells me what to do.

ive been up since 7:30 and this is what ive done.

2008-09-13T09:11:00.001-05:00

note the knife, the gun, the measuring tape, and the (what i assume to be) scented candle.

dont do it.

2008-09-13T02:04:00.000-05:00

when your drunk and you think you might call your friend and tell them that you love them "WAY TOO MUCH". dont do it cause then your a douche bag when they say, "oh, ok...uh, well ill call you tomorrow and we'll 'talk' about it".
D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G-!=ROSEBLAND.

=

SHIT I TOTALLY FORGOT!!!

2008-09-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

sorry america and the angels looking over all of our distruction.

my bad.

i know. its been a while.

2008-09-12T16:49:00.000-05:00

well, the thing is for the longest time i didnt have a chair infront of my computer so i didnt feel like blogging standing up. i have since gotten a stool and its not comfortable but it'll do.
hmmm....whats been up?
well shit i dunno. last week i got to see motorhead and vampire weekend. somehow i got way more drunk at the hipster sweater band show than i did rocking out to well, rock.
so drunk i took my shirt off in front of cb's and ate pizza off the ground.
at motorhead i took a cab with strangers to the trade after the pagent and then...well ask someone else cause thats how i find out what i do.
in the last month i was reminded how awesome my friends are and how lucky i am to have them.
oh, ya. there was a rave too. bridget was there and it was awesome.
whatever, by butt is numb.

last night was pretty weird

2008-08-11T14:16:00.001-05:00

so we went to off broadway to see bob log III and it was awesome. the monads played and it was b's first time seeing one of the most cute and fun bands around town. and then there were the drunk ass holes. the night pretty much went like this:
BEER

MONADS

DRUNK ASSHOLE BOBBLING AROUND

JELLO SHOTS

BOBLOGIII

MORE SHOTS

SO THEN WE'RE OUTSIDE SMOKING CIGS AND THE BOBBLE HEAD ASSHOLE ASKS FOR ONE. I GET HIM A CIG AND HE BEGINGS TO TELL ME ITS OK THAT IM GAY. IM NOT OFCORSE SO ITS KINDA FUNNY TILL ITS NOT ANYMORE. THEN HIS BUTTHEAD FRIENDS COME AROUND TO DEFEND HIM AND THATS WHERE THE SHIT STARTS. earlier i was talking to b about how some people dont deserve to get punched in the face so an open had slap or even a bitch slap puts them in their place. SO, ONE OF THE DRUNK FRIENDS IS ALL "bla bla bla raciest stuff, bla bla bla sexist stuff" SO I SLAPPED THE MOTHER FUCKER IN THE FACE. THERE WAS A LOT OF YELLING AND THEN CHRIS GAVE ME HIS LAST CIG AND I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING.

THIS IS MY LIFE. I THINK I LOVE IT.

oh, right and after all that we went to a dance party then i got laid by my boyfriend. jeez, you just cant beat this shit.
oh crap, i gotta go to work. see ya

wow, i must have been really drunk

2008-08-08T04:56:00.001-05:00

i am absolutly insainly completely sory about my last post. although i do love that song i cant believe that i picked that version to share with the "world". its really really aweful. and perhaps it seemed that i did that on perpose or something ironic or whatever, i can asure you i did not mean to. in fact i was just cheking the blog to see if anyone was looking at it and thought maybe someone had played a trick on me. i dont think i ever gave my passwords out so im guessing i did one of those drunk internet things that you just feel stupid about later. so again, not on purpose and im sorry.
HERE:

this has been the secret song i never had the guts to put on the mix tape for the guy i had a crush on:

2008-08-06T05:39:00.000-05:00

at 10 in the morning after 3 hours of sleep i think my idea of adorable might possible be a little skewed

2008-08-05T11:07:00.000-05:00

pull over, that ass too fat.

2008-08-04T15:48:00.000-05:00

Whoop!
Huh?
What that bitch got all that ass for?
Man pull that hoe over that bitch gotta get a ticket

[1 - Trick Daddy]
Whoop! Whoop!
Pull over that ass is too fat
Whoop! Whoop!
Pull over that ass is too fat

[Repeat 1 (3x)]

[Trina]
Dumps in the truck
Thighs like what?
Ain't nann hoe got more booty in the butt
Sisqo made that song when he seen me in a
THONG! TH-THONG! THONG! THONG!
I know you like the way the booty go
Like a pro
Slip him off the bed, throw him on the floor
Turn on the cameras start the freak show
This ass even make Black Rob say whoa
I got a fat ass playa nigga can't pass up
Juvenile couldn't even back this azz up
Bone don't you know lil' mama fully loaded
I got a fat ass and I know how to tote it
You wanna fuck?
Twenty g's for the nut
Keys to the mansion, keys to the truck
What? Y'all know what's up
Ain't nann hoe got more booty in the butt

[Repeat 1 (4x)]

Who got more ass than the average bitch?
You know it's the baddest bitch
Number ten in the face slim in the waist
Fat in the ass, do you want a taste?
Pop to the bass I'mma make ya drop
(Whoop! Whoop!)
Trina fixin' ta make ya hot
Uh me and the girls hit the club and clown
Going back to the old school, Dodo Brown
M-I-A-M-I baby
Slip 'n' Slide and I'm going crazy
Cause my shit firm and tight, just right
And if the price is right I just might

[Repeat 1 (4x)]

Off glass with it
Fat ass with it
Gettin' cash with it
I throw my back in it yeah
And I'mma shake what my mama gave me
Lil' mama don't play so you gotta pay me
I'm da baddest bitch you got to admit that
69 ways? You know I went that!
And I'mma shake my money maker
I'mma shake this thing like a salt shaker
Cause ain't nothing wrong with the bump and grind
When I do this thing up, jump behind
(Whoop! Whoop!)
Ride like a chuchoo train
(Whoop! Whoop!)
Lil' mama fixin' ta do this thing
(Whoop! Whoop!)
Front, back, side to side
(Whoop! Whoop!)
That's how ya slip 'n' slide
What's up lil' daddy
Trick a fat sack
Representin' for my girls with the fat back

[Repeat 1 (4x)]

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop

just one thing missing...nothing.

2008-08-03T11:42:00.000-05:00

so, we went to the river yesterday (finally) and it was awesome!!
i got a sunburn. bridget never stopped peeing. peeter and ben were in love like little gay bear cubs. sunyatta got bitten by a snake then swallowed a live minnow. blake forgot to take off his calculator watch. rebeca got a sunburn. kevin came strong with the clasic rock. and...oh, me. uh, i got little river pebbles in my pubes. all in all, a perfect day.

how i lost all respect for myself

2008-07-21T12:42:00.001-05:00

i went to chicago.
end of story.
i have no love,
rose

and here it is

2008-07-17T18:59:00.000-05:00

im over it.
im sorry.
i love you still/again.
rose

when life is so great it takes almost nothing to make it seem really crappy

2008-07-17T14:58:00.000-05:00

i must find a way to chicago. i must do it now.
fuck everything that isnt exactly what i want it to be.
i have successfully spoiled myself into brathood.
should i be upset? i am, but not at my self. at everyone else.
dont worry. ill just apologize later.
get over it rose.
ok
bye.
ps
i dont love you anymore.
i know that already.

dawn and don are the fucking same, ok!

2008-07-14T15:52:00.000-05:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The South
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

why i havnt been blogging lately

2008-07-14T15:43:00.000-05:00

cause ive been drunk. very very drunk. now i am bruised and shaky. i feel like an awesome retard. thank god for the summer.

i love you too.

i have a bacterial infection on my fucking eye skin.

2008-07-02T01:07:00.000-05:00

AND THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF

See the curtains hangin' in the window
In the evening on a Friday night
A little light-a-shinin' through the window
Lets me know everything's all right

Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind
Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowin' though the jasmine in my mind

See the paper layin' on the sidewalk
A little music from the house next door
So I walk on up to the doorstep
Through the screen and across the floor

Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind
Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind

Sweet days of summer -- the jasmine's in bloom
July is dressed up and playing her tune
And I come home from a hard day’s work
And you're waitin' there
Not a care in the world

See the smile awaitin' in the kitchen
Through cookin' and the plates for two
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me
In the evening when the day is through

Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind
Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

last night's dream

2008-06-24T15:39:00.001-05:00

so, i dont think i can put this in any chronolgical order but here it is.

im in this dream and i realize that im pregnant. im out partying or something when i "get the news" and i feel bad but i keep doin' what im doin'. im on a peer or something close to water, looking out contemplating things when someone comes up to me and starts critsizing me for drinking when i know that im preggers. i try to defend myself by telling the person that i just found out earlier that night but he wouldn't lay off.
so, now, im away from all this in a market or something. i have (for some reason) scored some herroine. it looks like crystal bath salt things and im kinda reluctant to snort them. im with a friend and let them have the first try. said friend gets really fucked up. then enters my ex-fake dad, kevin. he's looking around at me and my friend suspiciously (oh, i should mention that by this time i am really pregnant, like big) to see what we're up to. friend is kinda wobbling around wasted and i look down at the "stuff" and see that its blown away or something. im actually pretty relieved and i think it pretty much ends after that.
weird huh?

well, thats that.

its been awhile sense we discussed our plans for the future

2008-06-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

i know that we are compfortable with each other and we have this little "life" and everything and...well it just seems that everything is SO great but i gotta tell you. im bord. i love you, i always have, i always will. but i just cant take this for much more. im young, i have a life to live. i need to get out and explore. im not ready for this, ok?!
and you! you need to live a little too! you've been stuck here in this domestic thing we've made for our selves too. lets do something with out selves, without eachother.
so i guess what im saying is that we need our space. or rather i know that i need my space.
so...im leaving. right now.
im sorry. dont worry though, im sure everything will be alright.
ok, well i gotta go now.
dont do anything crazy, ok? and remember, ill always love you.

i think we need to talk

2008-06-23T18:41:00.000-05:00

alot's happened since the last time we talked. uh, i dont really know how to tell you this, but...well, um. ok FINE! i met someone else. i might be back soon, but for now i just think its better if we dont see each other.
oh, come on now. dont cry. no, no. im crying too, you see. its just inside. i cried so much earlier, um, at home.
so, uh, i kinda gotta go right now. so...well, i hope everythings going to be ok with you.
if you need to talk to someone, you can totally call....oh, wait, nevermind.
well, ill see you around then.
sorry?

fun for four finutes

2008-06-16T16:45:00.000-05:00

back in business (thats what people say, right?)

2008-06-16T16:22:00.000-05:00

doing whatever you want is essential to a happy life. i think.

drawing pictures for your friends, laughing, drinking, poking fun, doing handstands, chewing bubble gum, blowing bubbles, staring at the sky, passing a doobie, counting your toes with little kids, doing cartwheels, riding your bike, watching movies, kittens, puppies, bright colors, gold, plans, no plans, boys/girls, specials boys/girls, sandwiches, fruit, sunshine, rivers, late night naked swimming, naps, B-complex, Omega 3's, music, sweat, sunglasses, warm rain, showers?,...

this is the time for enjoyment.

i love you

from saint louis to indiana to chicago to home...eventually.

2008-06-08T22:50:00.000-05:00

so, jesus h christ, i am so sick and tired of being in a car with anyone for more than 15 to 20 minutes. the wedding was great, the food was amazing, the friends were wonderfull. im stil pretty much ready to go home and get back on my bike though. see you soon guys.
i still love you.

LOL RAZZ

2008-06-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

THANK YOU PEETR!

isnt it funny when you get to answer the same questions all the time?!

2008-06-04T04:54:00.000-05:00

to add to a previous post explaining some of my most recent injuries, id like to "talk" about sunday. our friend justin ripped a giant hole in his lip (probably resulting in stitches) and i hit my head really really hard. i guess i have a hidden soft spot on my head somewhere and i only find out about it like, lets say, every 6-8 months. i dont really know what happened, maybe a door maybe i just fell on my head, but it hurts (along with many other parts of my body).
so thats that. lets see....
oh, so on monday a schizophrenic man decided to come up to work to sing keriokee. he chose "all you need is love" by the beatles, presumably. this man just belted random words in a relatively recognizable tune. at first, i was horrified. then pretty damn entertained. only after his second attempt at the mike was he "politely" asked to leave the place and return himself to crazy town.
then comes rita. rita looks like a balding retarded mildly female version of meat loaf. and that bitch is awesome. a friend and coworker of mine mentioned that he had been seeing rita at random keriokee joints for, going on, 5 years. fucking rad.
i sang "love is a battle field" to her, it was great.
um, pete s. left. i was to lazy and in bed to say goodbye. but i figured that's what he would want from me (or at least expect, anyways).
well, not much else going on in this head right now.
guess ill go to bed.

ps
no bombs tonight, are you proud of me?

oh wait, thats i lie, i had one before dinner.
damn.

piece out. iloveyou.

NEW BLOG

2008-06-03T14:54:00.000-05:00

summer project 2008.
check it!

http://summlogos.blogspot.com/

i havnt forgottten you

2008-06-03T14:30:00.001-05:00

here's a thing thats prettty entertaining. last night at work, some dood pushed me (in a jovial way that wasnt fun or funny) and i ran into some piece of metal with the most sensitive part of my knee i can think of. i mean, after like and hour, i couldnt bend it with out horrible pain. so that sucked. then later, after that awesome lightning/rain storm, i guess i had gotten my shoes wet from being outside and when i tried to walk down the stairs to the basement (with one strait knee, mind you) i slipped and slid down all the steps on my butt. the slipping wasnt really too bad it was mostly the falling. all my wait on one butt cheek all at once, not to compfertable.
so, anyway, waking up this morning has proved to be a rather sore event. oh, and the heat is pretty much preventing me from any benificial sleep anyways so.....DAMN, whats up summer.
hot and hurt. thats usually how i do this time of year.

so, i ll be around. but ill probably be drunk, sweaty, and limping.

ps
my thoughts on most people: i dont care enough to even get very mad of truely dislike anymore. is this good. is this bad. guess what, i dont care.

sincerely,
me

I LOVE YOU

i havnt felt like writing much theses last few years...

2008-05-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

the state of my concentration and health has gone down a considerable amount since i introduced red bull into my life again. the energy drink mixed with alcohol gives me the amazing ability to stay drunk AND function at the same time. DANGEROUS. i think ill have to quit.

here's something:

i love you. i hate you. i need you. i want you. to go away.

im not sure if i love you anymore. i dont really know if i feel anything.

ah, fuck it.
I LOVE YOUTOO.

this one time there was a time

2008-05-29T21:20:00.000-05:00

where i rote a blog and it when a little something like this:
blog blog blog blob blog glb.lg.bog.g.bogllb..ggojfkldfjkldjoarul.com

so i didnt feel like writing anything. sorry.
see you later.
ILOVEYOU.LRB.

hey, its that day that i should be q'n it up and gettin my drink on

2008-05-26T15:56:00.000-05:00

instead, im on my way to work. hip hip horgay!!!
oh well, such is life i suppose. the only thing that could make this ok, is if my mother fucking stimulation pennies come in the mail tomorrow. i doubt it though.
ok, well thats me for noow.

BOOB UPDATE:
i think i went from a Ccup to a Dcup.
i guess that means ill be getting more stuff for free now. i hope they are new free bras.

later doods,
razz$

PS
THIS IS FOR YOU GUYS
YOUR WELCOME

I LOVE YOU

dance routine ideas

2008-05-24T17:44:00.000-05:00

watch and learn children.

your welcome.

good morning/afternoon. i love you

2008-05-23T16:43:00.000-05:00

PLUSS

ANNNND

GOD I LOVE LIFE
sometimes
on some days.

on another note, i got my printer/scanner/photo copier/photo printer in the mail yesterday. now i can make photo copies of my but and boobs without freaking people out at kinkos. YES!

life is truely a good thing today. and later, DEVATCHKA and boys.

YOU KNOW IT ALREADY BUT, I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

this is how much chris (how ever you spell his last name, something polish) and i love eachother

2008-05-23T06:26:00.001-05:00

AND

BUT DONT LEAVE OUT

wow. thats fucking love right there.
thank you
and GOOD night.

i love you too.

net-salve

2008-05-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

pronounced "net sAv". a term generally used in regards to those of internet savviness.

not me.

me, these days. god damn these days. i love you.

2008-05-22T04:09:00.000-05:00

another day, another fucking...oh wait, nothing.

2008-05-22T03:56:00.000-05:00

tow giganticly awesome bands prevented me from hearing anything tonight. and . i . loved it. so so so bad. first band, hold on i gotta remember...quiet hooves. fuckin g great, wait a minute my cats at the window. steven, what are you doing out. god i love you.
anyway, i cant hear anything thanks to them. an d. the following band, dark meat. completely amazingly dance-er-ific-ly RAD. maybe, and this is streching it because i dont really know how to relate some bands to other bands, but maybe...skarekrawu (or how ever you spell it) radio + poliphonic spree (or how ever you spell it). anyhow, im in LOVEW. thats rightt. love with a double uuuuuuu.

so...you wanna make out. cause im drunk and excited about music and i don t really know what a better candidate for makin gout is. you?

well, ill say adueieieieiei then and call it a night.
H20 is better as a drink.
thank you youth
thakn you age.

nighty noght. i gotta fart on myself now.
o\\i love you more.3> damnh <3
got it

broken and its awesome!!!

2008-05-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

there's nothing like waking up at 3:30 in the afternoon on someone's couch with pieces of unchewed sandwich in your mouth. to add to the rude awakening of my life ive got two fake mustaches stuck to my boobs, skinned elbows, blood on my shirt, and (i think) a broken toe. but the weather today, can you believe it! beautiful.
anyway, i do remember rrrrasling with my roommate on carpet (that would explain the elbow thing). oh, and just remembered i tipped over on my bike (that could be the toe and this other abrasion i just found on my ankle). the blood is questionable and the mustaches are just funny.
last night was one to remember, or not.
at least there's proof on my body (if not in my mind) that i had an AWESOME time.

why cant i stop masturbating?

2008-05-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

i wake up in the morning and all i want to do is shit my pants, hauk loogies for an hour or so, and fuck.

as i am a resorsfull person, i get all these done myself (usually).

i get in the shower, turn that shit on hot hot hot, and start my day.

caugh. caugh. hack. spit. push. feel the hot liquid shit run down my legs and mix with the phlem at the bottom of the bathtub. caugh some more. oh, this time blood with the green/yellow/brown chunks that come from inside me.

if im really lucky ive started my period and with my next full body, abdomin wrenching hack fest, i can just push it all out.

chunks from my lungs, piss, crotch blood, and runny poo. this is my shower experience.

oh, then i brush my teeth and shave my legs so guys will think im hot.

2nd blog in over a month...

2008-02-06T02:32:00.000-06:00

ok, so its february its supposed to be borring and depressing but FUCK! this bad. seriously! i mean really.. i cant believe this shit. i feel pretty fucking horrible. how can weather and lack of ample activity do this to a person? really?

i like to think that im in control of things, like my moods my actions the things i do ect... but, fuck, these days i dont know.

I AM FUCKING SAD. real fucking sad.

and i dont know what to do about it.

i hate my job.

i dont really like my life.

i think i may like someone alot but i dont know if they like me in return... jesus god, im 25 fucking years old. what am i doing?

i cant cry about this nothing shit forever.

WHAT DO I DO?!

who am i asking?

why am i doing this?

i am fucking terrified

2008-02-06T02:20:00.000-06:00

look at the poles. look at them. ok, its 2 something in the morning, wednesday morning, and the poles are still going. it looks good it looks bad... i think it looks pretty bad. i mean who cares if he's winning in 7 states. big fucking deal. the future still sucks in the rest of the 43 states, or how ever many fucking pieces of land "we" own n0w. i voted. I VOTED. i voted. borack. i did it. so please please please tell me i made a difference. please.

or not because thats what im kindof expecting.

signing out (with tears of fear)

L. (fucking) Rose Bland

im so scared to see the future

lets just jump.

poetry, the new punk!

2008-01-26T02:57:00.001-06:00

words can say anything so ive found a better way to communicate. lolcats.

I LUV TEH INTERNET

IT HAZ OPEND MAH EYEZ 2 SOCIETY

I HAS BECOME DESENCITISD 2 ALMOST ALL FORMZ OV ANAL PENETRASHUN

AN POOP EATIN 2!

I CAN SPEEK WIF PEEPS WIF OUT SEEIN THEM

AN BUY ANYTHIN ON WHIM

THANK U LULZ KATS

U TRUELY R LAFF OUT LOWD-ABLE

now you know.

LUVS YA

inevitability. or the relationship between apples and pretzels.

2008-01-26T02:53:00.000-06:00

cirten things are bound to happen. certain things make sense.

like salt on the pretzel. like the sweet crispness of an apple.

some things

are

ment

be.

this poem inspired by the artistic ambition of a young man named peat stein.

thank you,

RAZZ$

2008! what next?

2008-01-09T05:54:00.000-06:00

its a new year. a new era. a new time for me to forget about.

things are wonderfull. things are unbelievably great. things are...things, after all.

i hear we've only got ,what, like four more years till' the apocalypse? well, i guess its time to live it up. i mean, four years is only 96 or so months. lets do this shit.

so, lately ive been having trouble getting upset about things. i mean, once you realize that nothing REALLY matters and everything is going to be pretty much the same no matter what, its hard to really care about any thing enough to get that worked up.

i am truely amazed. this is a life changing event in my life. scratch that, it doesnt matter enough to be "life changing", i am just reallly glad i came to this realization. thank you life. thank you assholes. thank you the internet. thank you rose.

regee inspired christmas music

2007-11-25T18:14:00.000-06:00

gives me a feeling inbetween sickness and anger.

the end.

miss (me) babe

things and stuff

2007-11-18T14:25:00.000-06:00

my life involves talking to/listening to some of the most borring people around. but...sometimes i am suprised by how NOT boring some people are. now, i realize that being not boring perhaps implies being interesting but this is not always the case. sometimes not being completly plabeian (yes, i use dictionary.com) just means your crazy though. its odd really, that a person can have nothing at all interesting to say but at the same time be so...(lets check the thesauras again) bonkers. to me, i always associated insanity with a rather interesting personality. i am wrong.

people people people

words words word

things things

stuffs

pancake breakfast

2007-11-10T09:46:00.000-06:00

wake up in the morning. peel off the layers from yesterday. nose running yet stuffed up. feels the need to share with "others". monotony accepted. should i continue to question. easier to let it be. dont expect miracles. always be impressed. sniffle. not sad, just cold. cold cold cold world. now. before and later do not exist. chewy fruity sweet but makes my teeth hurt. realizing the inabilities i possess. this characteristic enables a solitary existence. contemplate. accept. disappointment out the window. who left the window open. its cold outside. here take this money. do you need money. gods speed young ones. be careful running into the night. its dark. there are no lights. your all dressed in black. gods speed.

boring boring boring boring

2007-11-08T17:43:00.000-06:00

nothing to offer

nothing to say

sorry

rose

the road to valhalla is a bloody battle

2007-11-07T15:17:00.001-06:00

there are certain things that really make existing worth while. things like really good food, kittens, sunshine, and.....EPIC POWER VIKING METAL.

it seems that when i start my days off with these magical sounds, everything is good.

words like nie, battle, valhalla, oden, loki, mead, blood sward, and so on really get me in good spirits.

Gods Of War (Immortal Version)

Father obented me

I ask thee

raise thy hand

we! the sons of Odin!

await thy command

Born!

under the sign

of the hammer we stand

and here we all may die!

our blood on the ground

the battle horns sound!

Let thy Valkyries fly!!

Down from the sky into the fight

Clutched full of rage!!

full of thunder

and glory

Swords in the wind

crossing the sky

Lords of doom bring an end to their story

Today is the day we Die in the fight

None shall remain..

till last one for night

now Valhalla's calling us immortal

we are gods immortal!

We are Gods Of War!!

Odin

hear the fallen wait

To join thee

by thy side

let Valhalla's gates

Open wide.....

Born! under the sign of the hammer

They lived

and here they fought and died!

There blood on the ground..

The battle horns sound!!

Let thy Valkyries fly!!!

Down from the sky into the fight

Clutched full of rage!!

full of thunder

and glory

Swords in the wind

crossing the sky

Lords of doom bring an end to their story

Today is the day we Die in the fight

None shall remain..

till last one for night

now Valhalla's calling us immortal

we are gods immortal!

We are Gods Of War!!

day after

2007-11-06T14:22:00.000-06:00

im tired. im hung over. im done. i cry. i laugh. i feel like ill through up. what an ass i am. today is a good day. though. maybe ill see a movie. maybe i wont.

i had a dream the other day that i was nursing a kitten.

i think i might be weird.

i found out that without social interaction, boose, and i dont know, some other stuff too probably, i fail to really BE.

or maybe i just am more without.

vices.

-r

dont/do smoke weed and do anything

2007-11-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

so i had to walk (yes, walk) like 1/2 a mile or something today. this may not seem like a big deal but i ride bikes so, i hate walking. it takes to long and its borring. i thought, this morning before i went for my walk, that if i smoked weed it would make it more interesting. so i rolled one up and got to stepping. i was taking a bike to the shop, by the way. as i was walking, though, i started to realize things happening in certain sequences. a woman walked by with a dog, as i was about to say hi (or some other way of acknowledging her presence) her cell phone rings. then, i take a few more steps and there is a slight breeze in the trees above, a creepy breeze, a horror movie breeze. more steps, a dog barks. a little further and im looking up at a scary looking house with one window open and ivy growing all over it, dry leaves flying all around it and everything. a car drives by really fast and i drop my bike. this is when i decided smoking weed after watching scary movies for a week or so, and taking a walk wasnt a great idea. a couple of blocks later i had forgotten all about it though.

by the time i was half way there i had come to the conclusion that the joint walk was the best thing ever. the neighborhood i was walking through was all of a sudden gorgeous. the trees were a number of amazing colors, there were no people running around yelling at eachother, there were even recycling bins on the sidewalks. beautiful.

drugs, huh?

or maybe its just fall and im loosing it.

anythings possible, i guess.

school days

2007-11-01T19:29:00.000-05:00

look. i do the inernet too. this means im smart. right. (statement not question)

just another dumb girl

2007-10-31T15:05:00.000-05:00

well, peter pointed out to me that i am a 25 year hypochondriac cat lady wino. its the truth. i went to the emergency room this morning because i wan convinced that i was having kidney failure or had broken my back or something. turnes out, there was nothing wrong with me. i was in alot of pain though and couldnt stop crying so they did give me an iv with some pain killer i cant remember the name of now. and the cat lady part, i just had 6 kittens one week ago today and i love every last one of them to death. i literally start crying when i think of them. oh and the wino thing, well, i do like a bottle of wine every now and then. so, this is me now. what will i have when i actually am old. god, life is dissapointing no matter what, huh?

approximation of buttheads

2007-10-28T20:54:00.000-05:00

why such a butthead?

why a death wish?

why so drunk?

why all the time?

in real life i guess i really dont care anyway.

dont bother me.

i hope you feel better.

this happened to me...again.

2007-10-27T21:18:00.000-05:00

i dropped my phone in the toilet. im dumb. i shouldnt have things. oh well.

well its today

2007-10-24T16:29:00.001-05:00

i might be shallow

i might be hollow

i might be judgemental

i might not care

butt i love kittens

this day is poorly written

2007-10-24T16:28:00.000-05:00

TODAY I WOKE PROMPTLY AT 7AM TO THE UNWELCOMING STATIC CHATTER OF OUR LOCAL PUBLIC RADIO STATION. IT SEEMS THAT SOMETIME IN THE NIGHT SOMEONE/THING HAD FIDDLES WITH THE TUNING OF MY CLOCK RADIO AND PLACED THE DIAL SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LOUD OBNOCTIOS HISSING AND HORRIBLY OFFENSICE SCRATCHING STATIONS. (I HAVE MY SUSPISSIONS IT IS MY NEW FURRY FRIEND SHELDON. AN ADORABLE LITTLE MOUSE I DONT HAVE THE HART TO KILL, YET.) AFTER LISTENEING TO THE AUDIBLY TORTUTOUS RACKET FOR EXACTLY 13 MINUTES I DECIDED TO RISE. AT SOME POINT IN THE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING I WAS AWAKENED BY AN INTERNAL HEAT WAVE. RELIZING I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP LISTENING TO MUSIC WITH ALL THE LIGHTS ON AND STILL WEARING SOCKS SHOES PANTS AND SHIRT I SUPPOSE I MANNAGED TO PULL OFF WHAT I COULD. THIS, WHEN I WOKE TO THE ALARM LATER, RESULTED IN ME WEARING ONE LEFT SOCK ONE PANT LEG (RIGHT) AND TEE SHIRT SECURELY AROUND RIGHT WRIST. I IMAGINE WHAT PROMPTED MY RUDE AWAKINING MAY HAVE BEEN TWO GUN SHOTS THAT SOUNDED LIKETHEY HAD BEEN FIRED DIRECTLY OUTSIDE MY BASEMENT/BEDROOM WINDOW. (THIS CONFIRMED TO NOT BE A DREAM BY MY ROOMATE & FRIEND JOE S. ES HE WAS AWAKENED BY IT AS WELL.) AFTER GETTING DRESSED AND WASHED UPI HEAD FOR THE DOOR AND REALIZE IT IS 8 AM AND I HAVE ABSOLUTLY NO REASON TO BE AWAKE OR GOING ANY WHERE. THAT RESOLVED, I MOUNTED MY BIKE AND RODE OFF INTO THE BRISK BEAUTIFULL RUESDAY MORNING. I FOUND MYSELF A LITLE LATER ON THE SHORE OF SOME FOREST PARKPOND READING IN THE SHADE AND INTERMITINGLY STARING AT TADPOLES OR MINNOWS OR SOME SORT OF WHATER BOUND SPERM LIKE THING. AFTER ABOUT 75 PAGES I SNAP AWAKE AND RELIZE ID BEEN NAPPING IN THE SUN FOR THE LAST HOUR OR SO. WITH STILL AN HOUR TO SPARE BEFORE DONING MY PENGUIN SUIT AND HANDING OUT REFRESHMENTS TO THE 7-10 PREDICTIBLY SLOW DAYTIME MOVIE GOERS, I DECIDED TO CONTINUE READING. A LITTLE BORED AND NOW SWEATING FORM THE BLAZING OCTOBER SUN (?), I FIGURED IT WAS TIME TO VENTURE TI AN AIRCONDITIONED PLACE WITH A COMPFY CHAIR AND CONTINUE READING WHILE GETTING PAID (AN IMPRESSIVE $8/HR. IT ONLY TOOK ME 3 YEARS, 3 TIMES EITHER GETTING FIRED OR QUITTING, AND ONE REQUEST FOR A RAISE TO GET TO THAT ENTIRELY UNHEARD OF WAGE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOES SO CLOSE TONOTHING THAT I PRACTICLY IS...NOTHING). AND THUS STARTS OCTOBER 9TH, 2007.

AT TIMES I FEEL MY WRITING MAY SOUND ABIT CONTRIVED BUT I ASSURE YOU, THESE ARE INFACT THE WORDS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD AT THIS TIME. I LRB, AM STILL RETARDO 314.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I AM SUSPICIOUS THAT STARING AT WORDS AND LETTERS FOR HOURS A DAY CAN MAKE YOU THINK TOO MUCH.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

WHAT A PLEASENT AND FULLFILLING FEELING TO WAKE IN THE MORNING, STEP OUTSIDE, AND TAKE A DEEP COOL BREATH OF THE NEW CLEAN CRISP FALL AIR. MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF OCTOBER 10TH 2007 WAS VERY PLEASING.THE LATE MORNING WELCOMED ME WITH THE SOUNDS OF A MARCHING BAND PRACTICING THEIR LATESTED CROWD RALLY-ING SONDS. FULLY AQUIPTED WITH AN IMPRESSIVE DRUM SECTION. THESE SOUNDS WELCOMED ME TO WHAT I BELEVE WILL BE A WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL DAY.

title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title title

2007-10-24T16:26:00.000-05:00

in the begining there were 6. 3 black. 3 gold.

the end.

how does it feel

2007-10-24T16:25:00.001-05:00

forget me forgetting me

how does it feel to have a dead hug from someone

once so alive

how does it feel to have the waves of my hurt

feelings slap you in your face

how does it feel to look at me now

what do you see anyway

anything!?

the feeolling is one of...

used to be loving

but you revived it, you

hurt it out of me.

i am incapeable of harboring such a feeling for you

anymore. what is it called?_________________

anothermorning.imdumb

2007-10-24T16:22:00.000-05:00

good mornig rose,

i hope your day if full of productivity and joy. look into the sun, its ok.

love,

god

be my friend dont be my friend be my friend

2007-10-13T21:09:00.000-05:00

boys are dumb.

and then there was grown ups

2007-10-07T20:08:00.000-05:00

so ive decided recently that my life as some sort of stupid drunk party socialite is at an end. im done.
by the way, the tv just told me that "Blue Crush" was one of the worlds best sports movies. granted i dont know much about sports movies, but come on tv.
well, its now 10 after 8, so i should probably go to bed.
untill next time the internet.
this was some dumb grown up.